yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
