Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
