I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize