Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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