it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
