i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
