I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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