I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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