I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
