Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
