the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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