When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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