We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
