My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize