I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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