Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
