whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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