Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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