No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize