i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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