i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think my fart just growled at me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
