Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
