3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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