i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
