Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I sprained my soul last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
