You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
