Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just want to make out with him forever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
