Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
