why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
