He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
