so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
