YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
