the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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