What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
