he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
