took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
