shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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