oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize