So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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