Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
