Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
