You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
