My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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