my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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