I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
