He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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