we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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