spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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