i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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