He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
