Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
