Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
