Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
