If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
