I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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