WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
