We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
