apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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