She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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