I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
