If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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