After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we're so committed to being not committed
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