My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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