Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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