Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
