high people should be assigned attendants
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
