come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
