idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
