So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
