no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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