Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize