Im at strip club and am horny
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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