someone get that fucking seahorse.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
