In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's always time for handjobs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
