and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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