I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
