im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
