shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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