dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
