my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize