Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
