his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
